I’ve had time to reflect on my half marathon journey now that all 13 races are complete. I thought I would share some of the lessons I’ve learned all throughout the year. Honestly, this is probably just part 1 of a series of thoughts and reflections about oneself and the different journeys we take in our lives. I don’t know how many parts there will be; really until I feel like I’ve shared enough. This first entry is some of the biggest realizations I took away.
1. I am much stronger than I thought I was when I started this journey.
I’m mostly talking about mental and emotional strength. I absolutely knew it would take something I haven’t necessarily drawn on before to really complete this goal. I had a feeling that physical strength wouldn’t stand in my way and that was mostly true. I firmly believe that you can accomplish any physical feat you set out to do, so long as you put the time, effort and passion into the training, and of course, barring any true physical limitations. I found that, even though during each race I had varying degrees of tiredness, soreness and discomfort, it wasn’t anything physical that was going to stop me from finishing. That same strength is not replicated for me mentally. I fought myself so many times during races, where my mind would say, you’re tired so just stop or it doesn’t matter if you just walk from here, you’ll still finish. While the latter is true, there wasn’t any reason for me to actually stop; I just mentally was wearing down and let my mind become filled with doubt.
I did stop and walk a significant portion of a race. The Mountain Chile Cha Cha was physically demanding. The elevation did force me to stop and walk awhile, because I couldn’t properly control my breathing (and your energy does get zapped pretty easily when you’re not used to it). My mind didn’t let me give up though and as soon as I could get myself moving again, I did run. Even though I could have easily continued to walk the last few miles to the finish, I knew there was more in me.
Every single race I battled the mental, and even emotional, demons. After a while, I honestly thought they just might win. So when I crossed the finish line of half marathon 13, I did feel overcome with joy that I did make it through each race and I did finish them with my best effort. I didn’t let the self-doubts and the scathing commentary my mind would let seep forward stop me. While a year ago I thought this goal was nice and would be rewarding to complete, I was ready to accept that I probably wouldn’t do the whole thing. Something here or there would probably get in the way; an injury, lack of time to train, just getting too busy with life. It is true that I had to deal with all of those things, but I found that as soon as I made a 100% commitment to this goal, I didn’t let excuses stop me.
This whole concept is a good analogy I think for most things in life. There are many things I would love to do, but I find excuses to either step back the commitment or drop it completely. I think most everyone can relate to that. I can look back now and say that I did notice changes in myself because I made it one of my first priorities. I politely declined invitations to events and gatherings when I knew it would be somewhat detrimental to my training. If something was going to interfere with my long run, then it had to move or be missed. If something was going to present me with a bunch of food and drink that would harm my training effort for a long or intense run, then I bypassed being tempted by it and declined. Yes, most goals and commitments require some sacrifice. Again, I think that’s why prioritizing is so important. It takes the guess work out of what you should do. I was stronger in many regards where I thought I would be weak in prioritizing. It doesn’t mean I didn’t make mistakes or pick the worse option at times. I certainly did. I’m still just surprised and proud that I built up the strength mentally, emotionally and physically to start and finish this journey!
2. Nothing is easy.
As if I didn’t already know that along with everyone else in the world. I didn’t expect this journey to be easy at all. It’s just that I couldn’t have imagined most of the challenges I faced along the way. Well, I did, but maybe how the challenge presented itself, its intensity or complexity or when I faced it was somewhat unexpected. Some of the challenges were small, but still important nonetheless. Take for example eating. I had to be incredibly diligent the day before and after a long run and even more watchful a few days before races. Trust me, having an upset stomach before, during or immediately following a run is frustrating. I’m sure many runners can attest to that at times, even embarrassing.
Coordination was tough too. Like I mentioned earlier, I had to sacrifice a lot of activities early in the weekend because I had to maintain my long run plan. Those training runs helped me maintain the level of running fitness I needed for all 13 races. It also meant that if I wanted to sleep in or eat something different or do anything else, I’d miss that all important run. So, I didn’t.
Except of course when I did. I was sick (thankfully only once this year) and had to take several days off of running. It made getting started again all that more difficult. I indulged in the “best” (aka – maybe tastes like the best but is really not that great for you) foods and drinks because I felt like I deserved it after a successful run, which made the next day a challenge to get going. I didn’t have to be “perfect” to do this journey. I wasn’t and I still achieved my goal. The big picture lesson is that nothing you have to work for is easy. I think we’ve all come across this lesson before. I suppose then you wouldn’t actually have to work for it. Ultimately, it may not be easy, but it’s totally worth it. I like being reminded of that lesson. I’m glad it stared me in the face with each run and each race and each milestone achieved. Knowing that I did tackle something challenging, something that didn’t “have to be” done, something people would have still high-fived me for even if I failed, helps build my esteem to face a new challenge.
3. People are kind.
In a world where we see a lot of people who do bad things to one another, I was reminded that there is so much kindness and good-hearted spirit from people too. Of course there are varying degrees of “bad” and some of the most extremes happen rarely (thankfully), but some of the petty, cold-hearted stuff happens on such a frequent basis, that I tend to want to hide in a shell. People who know me really well know that I talk a lot. If you ever really listen, I only talk about a handful of personal things. There are so many things I would never discuss because I’m painfully and awkwardly shy. (I know, people who know me are not buying it.) I don’t like people being mistreated or made fun of because they’re different. I’m different and I don’t like when those things happen.
So how does that relate to my half marathon journey? I told a lot of people about my goal late in 2012 and early in 2013. The only real reason is because when you say it out loud and people expect that’s what you’re doing, you tend to try and stick with it. I was shocked and amazed at the number of people who cared. I guess because they knew it was important to me, they cared enough to be interested (even if it’s pretend, I’m okay with that :)). I cannot believe how many people would ask me how training was going, how the last race was or where my next race was planned. I honestly didn’t expect that anyone would have interest and it would have been okay if they didn’t.
What was even more surprising were the number of people who said they’d come watch me race and cheer for me. I had friends actually make me a sign for a race – like a really nicely crafted, personal sign just for me. That still blows me away. The amount of people who offered me an encouraging word online, via email or in person was phenomenal. I can’t thank all of those family, friends and strangers enough for your support and encouragement. Know that it helped me SO many times push myself to get up and run or push through one more mile in a race.
Ultimately, it was a great lesson in humility. This entire journey has been a humbling experience, in mind, body and spirit. It’s made me appreciate what I’m capable of doing as a person and made me appreciate that sometimes it does take a village of support to do something big. I’ve realized that if there is something very important to me, I can share it with people around me and I think most of them will offer support. Another really important takeaway for me is that I need to be generous with supporting other people when they share their goals and vision and dreams. I honestly have no idea where I ranked in the past with this, but no matter how much or little I did, I plan to offer more in the future.
What a GREAT journey this half marathon goal has been for me. There is so much more I took away from this experience and I could probably write about it for weeks. I’ll end with these three lessons learned, but I plan to share more of the ups and downs, the bests and the worsts and where I plan to go next, so check back.
Miss FitGab
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